


It Ends Not With A Whimper But A Chucklefuck

by Fox_Salz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fire, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 23:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: A snippet of a rebellion. Involving fire.





	It Ends Not With A Whimper But A Chucklefuck

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo, finally getting something out for the [gamkar month on tumblr](https://miraculous-miracrails-month.tumblr.com). Since I set it up you'd hope I'd manage something lmao.

Not to be casteist, but clowns were too much goddamn trouble. Between Karkat’s moirail and the group of rambunctious clowns who had joined their rebellion, Karkat had a constant fucking headache. And of course it wasn’t as though the rest of his shitty friends were any better. In fact Sollux and Aradia were currently egging on a fire breathing contest.

“I have never known a moment’s peace and I know I never will.”

A loud cheer erupted through their sizable conclave as the pair of competing clowns let loose two long streams of fire. Dangerously close to flammable tents.

“Oh good. I was hoping for the revolution to burn up before the empress had to mussy up her fronds ripping my squeal pipe out herself. Wouldn’t want to ruin her manicure!”

There was a clownish chuckle and Karkat whipped towards his moirail who had snuck up behind him.

“Something’s got you all twisted the fuck up, best friend.”

“I wonder what it could possibly be,” Karkat mocked, motioning towards the chaos. Oh good, people were betting now like some hoofbeast race.

“Aw, don’t gotta worry none about that, Karbro. That all’s just some friendly motherfucking team building.”

“Team building? What kind of crock of shit is that? Real team building exercises do not involve nearly this much fire!”

“They do if you’re part of the clownastery.”

Karkat slapped a hand to his face.

“Just because your obnoxious clown cult posse thinks you’re the second coming of the messiahs doesn’t make this a roving clownastery—and fuck you forever for making me say that abomination of a word.”

Gamzee chuckled again, the pitiable fuck. Karkat took a deep breath, ready to launch into a rant that involved the words _chucklefucks_, _egregious misuse of time and resources_, and _pan rotted buffoons without an iota of common sense between them._ Before he could get a single one of them out, however, Gamzee stepped closer, his hand raised in a familiar motion.

“Shoosh, best friend, ain’t a motherfucking thing to all up and worry yourself about.”

“Gamzee I swear on both of your shitty messiahs that if you pap me I will—“

Gamzee papped him. Karkat screamed. Stupid goddamn clown just grinned wider and kept papping him until his screaming died down into a mildly aggravated chitter.

“There, ain’t that all sorts of better?”

“I will bite your fingers off and shove them down your ignorance shaft all the way to your thorax.”

There was no real heat behind the threat, unfortunately, and Karkat supposed nuzzling into Gamzee’s touch didn’t help any, either. Bastard clown.

“Shoosh, Karbro, not a goddamn thing to ruffle your feelers over here. Everyone’s all up in the fun zone. Maybe we should join—“

There was a suspicious holler of _holy shit! _accompanied by some further alarming exclamations. Karkat started to turn but Gamzee quickly swept him up and started for their shared tent. His expression was decidedly more apprehensive. Karkat spotted a drop of sweat that might be comical under less asinine and blood pressure raising situations. The universe was probably laughing, at least.

“What the fuck is happening?”

“Ain’t nothing to concern ourselves with, my most beloved and pale diamond. Let’s let these motherfuckers all enjoy their games while we get in some quality pile time. Ain’t that sound like a righteous motherfucking idea?”

Groaning, Karkat slapped both hands to his face.

“This is it. This is how the rebellion ends. Not with a whimper but with a bunch of chucklefucks.”

Gamzee shoosh papped him again, and this time Karkat let him. Then when he got them into the pile Karkat didn’t even put up a fight as Gamzee curled around him from behind, arm around his waist. Gamzee started up a low purr, and try as he might Karkat couldn’t stop himself from returning it. Even as the faint sounds of chaos outside wafted into their tent.

Karkat was surrounded by dumbasses, but he couldn’t fight how good his own personal one was.

**Author's Note:**

> They're purrobably all fine.


End file.
